Rizal said: "after God, men and women owe everything to their mothers"
Teodora Alonso:
A glimpse of the mother of a hero
from Mothers Magazine of Metro Manila
Inay, Nanay, Mother, Mommy, Mama... however we call her, there is a very special bond existing between us and that beautiful creation. The mere mention of her name brings us so much pride and of course, honor. As if we try our best to be like her.
Teodora Alonso, or simply called Lolay, is among the roster of mothers who became the pride of her children. She is amon gthe few who is proud enough to claim that she produced a national hero [Jose Rizal]. Despite this, little is known about Rizal's nanay. Though she was overshadowed by her son’s popularity, there’s no denying that Lolay definitely played a major role not only in the Rizal household but to the entire nation as well. Let’s take a glimpse at who this interesting woman really is.
Teodora Morales Alonso Realonda y Quintos, born on November 9, 1827, was one of the few women who finished school during her time. A woman with simple features, she was always neat and was truly graceful in every move she made. She would have been very successful if she built her own finishing school. In fact, her daughters had difficulty, especially when they were strictly ordered by Lolay no to slouch nor cross their legs nor reveal their ankles! (Talk about wearing miniskirts in front of Lolay). Having a fashion statement was not far from Lolay’s mind either. If some women today feel naked without wearing jewels or make-up, Lolay felt naked without her alampay which she always wore on her shoulders over a dress. And to rumor mongers, she would only say in Spanish “to foolish words, deaf ears”. Definitely, she survived without gossiping, just allow her to chew buyo(betel nut) which was her only vice. Such were her womanly traits which made her an easy attraction to Francisco "Kiko" Mercado, a man with broad shoulders, brown complexion, large ears, dark eyes and a strong jaw (can you picture how he looks like?) who became her husband on June 25, 1848. Indeed, an ideal marriage and a happy home was what they had ... and a large family too (nine girls, two boys)! Family planning was not the agenda then, rather "the more, the better". For the Rizals, their brood was their wealth and Lolay took good care of all of them. She patiently taught them how to read and write and honed their talents. Not to be forgotten was her effort to make her children totally complete by touching their spiritual lives, teaching them the value of prayer and sacrifice.
Practicality was also Lolay’s style, and recycling was her expertise - from clothes to pillowcases, curtains to bedsheets, and leftover foods to delectable dishes and desserts! She knew so many things, but what really set her apart aside from education was her entrepreneurial skill. She had a variety store where she sold food, medicines, cloth and other necessities. She had a stall in the market and even took time to deliver her goodies to nearby towns. She also had a small rice and flour mill and dye factory. Superwoman? Maybe. She did well juggling 24 hours a day as a mother, wife and businesswoman. But perhaps, what made her more of a heroine was how she handled life’s most painful trials: her imprisonment in 1872 simply because of her efforts to reconcile her brother and sister-in-law wasn't appreciated by the latter. Her in-law saw it as meddling, thus held a grudge against her husband and Lolay, and tried to get even by claiming that the siblings planned to poison her. Lolay was arrested, but what made it more hurting was that the man who arrested her and the judge were once guests in the Rizal home. It must have been real hard for somebody who was respected to be treated like a criminal. After two years in jail, she was finally released. Yet, this sparked a sensitivity against the Spaniards within their family.
Next came her second arrest in 1891, when she was 64, when she signed Teodora Alonso, the name which Lolay had always been know for, instead of Teodora Realonda de Rizal on her cedula. It was obvious the Spaniards were only trying to get even with Pepe (Jose Rizal) who already published two books about the Spaniards' injustices to the Filipinos, Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. When she was released, Lolay went to Hong Kong where she was reunited with her husband and three of her children. In 1892, Pepe went to Manila to seek pardon for his family. Though they were pardoned, he was exiled to Dapitan Zamboanga del Norte where he opened a clinic and a school. There he got a dose of his own medicine - from his own mother. He operated on her eyes to remove the cataracts. So successful was the operation that she was able to see immediately and clearly. This encouraged her so much, and which also made her disobey Pepe's prescriptions. She even got out of bed by herself and removed and replaced the bandages herself...until her eye became inflamed. So, now we know where Pepe got his stubbornness. He had been naughty as a boy, now it was Lolay’s turn in her old age.
Her final and most painful test came in 1896. Though Lolay applied her stubbornness by insisting to see the Spanish governor-general and beg him to pardon her Pepe, she failed. Pepe was executed on December 30, 1896 and it was only after two years (American Regime) when she got her son’s bones. Since then, until she died in 1911, she never stopped sharing about Rizal, and would even go to the extent of showing you her son’s skull.
Whatever Jose Rizal became, he owed everything to his dean Nanay --- with her style in upbringing and for all the things she taught the Rizal siblings. Indeed, as Rizal said, “after God, men and women owe everything they are to their mothers.”
Our mothers, like Lolay, will always be selfless.
Our mothers, like Lolay, will forever be our heroines.
Our mothers, like Lolay, will always be our models of the authentic women.
Important Note: This article was originally published in the first issue of Mothers Magazine of Metro Manila. Vol.1, Issue 1. Mothers is published by Flame Ministries Inc. for Teodora (Couples for Christ’s Ministry for the Empowerment of Women). If you would like to get your own copies of this magazine please call them at their Metro Manila number 727-0681.